Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize