I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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