are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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