it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
