Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
