i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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