also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
