how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
