What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
