I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
