guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
