I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
