I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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