And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
