Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
