So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
