wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
