I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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