Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
