His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
