I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
