Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Don't make out with my wife yet
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
