I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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