I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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