guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
