i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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