can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
