Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
