I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize