Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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