I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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