Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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