Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize