The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
