worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
