The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
