He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
