Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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