Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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