So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
