Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize