dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
