just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my liver is dry heaving
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
