so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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