I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize