remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
