Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
