Screwed.edu
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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