It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
