That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
