can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
