Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
