1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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