I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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