that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
