i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
