That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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