I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
