new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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