So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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