Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
