I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
