Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
