2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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